Complimentary Nouns
Your words towards students may be free, but they aren't cheap
In a recent newsletter, Adam Grant made this point about his research and kids:
“As an organizational psychologist, I was focused on how helping others can drive our success at work. But the seeds of rewarding generosity are planted much earlier.
It turns out that teaching kids kindness prepares them for success. In Italy, the eighth graders with the best grades aren’t the ones who got the highest marks five years earlier, but the ones who were rated as most helpful. In the U.S., middle schoolers who believe their parents prize kindness get better grades than those who think their parents put academic and career success first. In Canada, boys who are rated as helpful in kindergarten go on to earn more money in their thirties. A focus on concern for others leads to a stronger sense of purpose, deeper learning, and richer relationships. As a result, along with fueling achievement, caring also boosts happiness.
Parents and teachers are endless curious about how to nurture generosity. One of my favorite findings is that nouns are often more effective than verbs. When we shift from ‘thank you for helping’ to ‘thank you for being a helper,’ kids are more likely to internalize giving as part of their identities.”
Two things stood out to me—the emphasis on kindness and the effectiveness of nouns over verbs in helping nurture it. I think the reasons that nouns are more effective is because it feels weightier. Which also makes it harder to say out loud.
This past year my husband and I got to take our COVID-delayed honeymoon to Maui. One evening we were walking through a park, and I was wearing a shirt that said “Dallas Comedy House.”
A lady stopped me and asked, “Are you a comedian?”
First off, I thought she said, “Are you Canadian?” because I had forgotten what shirt I had on. I was thoroughly confused and said “No, I’m from Texas.”
“No, are you a COMEDIAN?” she said, motioning to my shirt. I balked a little.
“Um, yeah, I do comedy.” In spite of the fact that I have been pursuing and performing comedy for ten years and have be fortunate enough to be paid to perform and teach it, I couldn’t bring myself to say, “Yeah, I’m a comedian.” The label felt too strong and I felt like an imposter.
We should get more comfortable with positively identifying who we are, and we should help students start it early in attempt to ward off imposter syndrome (while still keeping their feet on the ground).
You and your students are likely all caught up in the testing season at this time, which can take some of the fun and humanity out of education. So this week, I’m offering you a challenge:
Choose at least one student and offer them a complimentary noun, letting them know that they have a positive identity.
Choose at least one colleague and offer them a complimentary noun, letting them know that they have a positive identity.
You obviously don’t have to stop at one each—the more, the more merriment you spread at a time when stress abounds and spirits can get low.
And before I leave you this week, I want to offer YOU a complimentary noun. You, a teacher, are a lot of different positive nouns. But one that stands out to me right now is that you are a light bearer. Regardless of the cacophony that’s coming at educators from ignorant politicians and community members, you still stand in front of your students every day and shine the light of knowledge on them. Thank you for that.
Today is the last chance to submit an end-of-the-year lesson idea for a chance at an Amazon gift card! I’ll share out the ideas next week in the final newsletter of the school year. Click here to submit your ideas by 11:59 pm!